DIY Retro Robot Lamp

Over our two week school intercessions, I need things to keep me occupied.  This time, I decided I needed a reading lamp for my living room but didn't find anything unique enough.  I wanted something that looked like it belonged in the space age, and a Google search led me to this:

Unfortunately, these things are as expensive as they are hard to find.  I looked at it and thought, "I could make that!"  If you want to make your own, here are the materials* you need:

-A cylindrical metal container with a bottom, like a cup or bowl

-Two metal bowls of the same size

-Three smaller metal objects, at least two of which are the same size (for the eyes and top of the head)

-A spring (optional, for the antenna)

-Two round drawer handles with necessary hardware

-1/2" long machine screws (with nuts)

-1 roll galvanized pipe strapping (found in the plumbing aisle)

-Lamp kit with cord and socket

-Duct or electrical tape (optional)

-Drill with different sized bits

-Screwdrivers

-Pliers

-Superglue, metal epoxy, or similar

-A paintbrush you don't care about

-Eye protection

-Gloves

I didn't take pictures as I went (sorry!), but here are the steps and pictures of the final product so you can see how it's put together.

1. Drill all of your holes. Drilling metal is dangerous and tricky.  Wear gloves and eye protection, and work over a fire-proof surface like concrete.  Expect hot chunks of metal to fly and protect exposed skin accordingly.  In your cylindrical container, drill 6: two for "feet", one for the lamp assembly itself, one for the cord, one for the pull chain of the lamp assembly, and one for the "kickstand" you'll put in the back to stabilize your robot.  In one metal bowl, drill 5: two for "eyes", one for the top of the head, one between the eyes and near the lip of the bowl, and one directly across from the last one.  In the bowl that will be the bottom, drill two holes near the lip of the bowl in the same locations as the other one.  

2. Make a very large hole in the bottom of the last bowl-basically you're removing the bottom.  I accomplished this by using the largest drill bit I had and drilling several holes close together.  Then I used pliers to sort of rip the rest of the bottom out.  It wasn't perfect, but it worked.  If you're worried about the sharp metal edges, cover them with some tape. 

3. Add the robot's feet by screwing your drawer handles in place.  There will likely be too much space between the handle and the body of the robot-fill it with nuts or washers. Cut a 2-3" piece of the pipe strapping and screw it to the body of the robot with a machine screw.  Bend it to form a kickstand.

4. Remove your lamp kit from the packaging and familiarize yourself with the directions.  Remove the pipe and cap from the bottom of the socket.  Thread the following onto the cord in this order: nut and washer if you need it, pipe, body of robot (cylindrical container), washer if you need it and nut.  Tighten the nuts on either side of the pipe; you don't want too much sticking out of the bottom.  

5.  Thread the socket cap onto the cord and tie an underwriter's loop with your two wires above the cap.  

6.  Loosen the terminal screws on the socket.  Find the wire that is either white or covered in a ribbed coating, and loop the exposed end around the SILVER terminal screw and tighten.  Attach the other wire to the BRASS screw in the same manner.  Fit the socket back together and screw it onto the end of the pole.  

7.  Disconnect the ball from the pull chain, thread the chain through the hole in the bottom of the robot, and reconnect the ball.  Pull on it to make sure that it can move freely.  TEST THE SOCKET.  If it doesn't work the first time, try a different bulb.  Remove the bulb and set this portion aside.  

8.  Cut a 2" and a 3-5" piece of pipe strapping.  Attach the 2" portion to the bowl that will be the top of the head using a machine screw.  Use the hole that is at the BACK of the head-opposite the eyes.  Attach the other end of the pipe strapping to the bowl that will be the bottom of the head.  You want there to be very little space between the bowls.  This piece of pipe strapping is the hinge and it's easier to attach if you bend the pipe strapping "open" before attaching the second bowl. 

9.  Attach the longer piece of pipe strapping to the holes in the front of each bowl.  You may want to leave one side unattached until you are finished and put in the bulb, depending on how small your robot is.  This will allow you to open and close the robot's mouth to control the amount of light.  The pipe strapping will bend inward when the mouth is closed.

10.  Using your glue or epoxy, coat the edges of the eyes and the top of the head and adhere them over the holes you drilled.  Attach the spring or whatever you're using for the antenna.  Remember that you have to work quickly with this stuff, and whichever paint brush you use should be one you plan to trash when you're done.  Follow ALL of the directions on the package.

11.  Coat the top edge of the robot's body (where the light socket is) with the glue or epoxy and settle the robot's head onto the body.  Fill in any gaps and allow to dry.  

12.  Place your bulb in the socket, tighten up any loose screws, plug it in, and enjoy!  If you want more light, open the mouth.  Less light, close the mouth.  

I decided to try mine with a green bulb and really like the effect.

It goes perfectly on these shelves I found over the weekend.  After searching flea markets all day, I saw this  shelving unit sitting in someone's driveway with a "for sale" sign on it when I was driving home.  It's very solid (not particle board!) and the price was right.

This lamp fits right in with my odd collection of alien and retro stuff that I'm starting to accumulate, and with a regular bulb in it is perfect for reading.  Hooray!

*A word or two about the materials:

-Lamp kits are available at craft stores, but I recommend the hardware store.  Your selection of switch types will be limited at the craft store, and the kits often come pre-assembled with the wires already attached.  They aren't attached with screws and if you try to remove them to thread them where they should go in your final project, they'll break off inside the socket and you're out ten bucks.

-The bowls are hard to find in the right size.  I got mine at a thrift store.  

-The eyes and top of the head are salt and pepper shaker lids.  Again, thrift store.

-The body is an aluminum mug I found at the store.  I left the handle on in the back because it will make the lamp easier to move while in use (it will undoubtedly get hot). 

Cat Lady Cred

I had big plans for this evening.  They included coming home, finishing my cleaning of my apartment, cooking, and sitting on my butt.  I was also planning to do a blog post on my favorite green things in honor of St. Patrick's Day, but of course life intervened.  I got home around 9:30 with this in my hand:

Yes, that's my official animal bite certificate.  I was driving to the music store and saw a lady in the left turn lane with her hazard lights on.  As I drove past I saw that there was a cat hanging from between her bumper and radiator.  I picked up my items at the music store, and when I came out she was still there.  Nobody had stopped yet, so I walked over and offered to help.  The lady drove to the parking lot where there was a small auto servicing place and I ran to the vet's office up the street.  They told me they couldn't help and gave me the number for animal control.  

Meanwhile, back at the parking lot, a couple of big tough looking auto mechanic guys were attempting to free the cat, who was completely stuck. We were afraid that since he appeared to be so injured, calling animal control would most likely result in him being put down on the spot and we tried to free him. Given the position he was in, I was afraid that pushing on him too hard from under the hood would break his back, and every time the mechanics would push on him he'd scream.  I asked to borrow some gloves in case the cat was a biter (most scared animals are) and attempted to scruff him.

As you can see, his front paw is still stuck inside the car and his midsection is completely stuck.  He's not hissing in this picture; he's crying.  Anyway, he bit me and the glove wasn't thick enough.  At that point, we had to call animal control because he has to be quarantined.  I don't want to get rabies shots.  I called animal control and they were quick to respond because it was a bite.  The lady in the car and her friend/relative who she called wanted to drive the car to a Mazda dealership a couple miles away and have them remove the bumper.  I talked them out of it because a) the drive with the cat this close to the pavement would likely kill him very painfully, and b) if he lived there would be no way to contain him, and he'd be roaming injured.  And then I'd have to get rabies shots.  I felt kind of bad for keeping them there, but at this point it was probably their only option, and it didn't cost them anything.  Needless to say, the lady driving the car was pretty upset at this point and was in tears.  She obviously felt pretty bad for the cat. 

After half over half an hour of me holding the control stick and the animal control officer working under the hood of the car, we got the cat free.  I honestly was afraid he was hurt worse, but he came out pretty well.  Meanwhile, it had started to snow, of all things.  I went to urgent care because the wound hurt a lot worse than I thought it would (doesn't look like much, but it broke all the way through my fingernail on the top and punctured the bottom) and is swollen.  Also, animal bites are dirty and my immune system is the equivalent of a beat up Ford Pinto.  I got antibiotics, a tetanus shot, and instructions to watch for blood poisoning and tendon sheath infection.  It still hurts like crazy.

I'm thinking of framing my official crazy cat lady certificate.

Also, this is not the weirdest bite I've ever had.  I was once bitten by a camel (on my wrist) and ended up with a hematoma the size of a golf ball on my arm.  

Now, to my dear fellow El Pasoans:

Stop getting animals you can't or won't take care of.  We have a huge feral cat program in El Paso because a few people got cats that they didn't have neutered and they got out and bred.  When the weather gets cold, they crawl inside of cars to get warm and we end up with what happened today.  We have taken an animal and domesticated it, then left it completely to fend for itself and do nothing but breed in an urban area.  This is cruel.  More remote areas have endless problems with dogs running free.  Sure, they have "owners"...but dogs with owners who are responsible don't allow this to happen, regardless of what kind of dog they own.  (In a strange coincidence, I went to elementary school with this man's daughter).  

And when you see something like this happening in your own neighborhood, don't look the other way and wait for someone else to help.  Stop and see what you can do.  

It's less about being the crazy cat lady than it is about being compassionate.  

Hurts so Good

Yesterday, I went for a deep tissue massage.  I have a  membership at a local massage place.  For about $60 a month I get a massage every month that rolls over if I don't use it, and additional 1 hour massages are $30.  My back has a habit of knotting up and then completely going out, which usually means two days off from work while I recover in a pain pill and muscle relaxer induced coma.

This time around my back (and really the rest of my body) was pretty bad.  Everything ached and my posture was seriously terrible because it hurt so badly.  The manager at the massage place told me that this therapist was great at deep tissue.  I told him not to be afraid to dig.  He was careful to ask about my RA and whether anything hurt (of course it did) and to ask if I had any bruises; the last time I went in I had IV bruises up and down my arms.

This therapist was darn good; he definitely got all of the knots out and my back is loose for a change.  The popping noises it made when I sat up were completely astounding.  He also found trigger points everywhere else, which is not surprising.  I think with any chronic condition affecting the joints, muscles tend to overcompensate and end up tensing up, which in turn just makes the joints hurt worse.  It's a cycle.  My ankles and elbows also feel a lot better today.

Unfortunately, I am sore and bruised.  Below is a picture of the middle of my back.  You can see the visible swelling on either side of my spine as well as the impressive bruises.  For the record, I have done some research and with deep tissue massage some bruising is normal if you're really tense.  Bruising on this level, maybe not, but I also suspect that all of the meds are causing me to bruise quite easily.

I'm loading up on the ginger and tylenol and am taking epsom salt baths alternating with ice packs on my back. I'm also considering a ginger bath tonight to sweat some of this out.  Either way, my back still feels better than it did two days ago!

I Didn't Watch the Grammys

It's true, I didn't.  I thought about it, but I always cry at tributes.  I don't really follow pop music and I'm not into spectacles like this.  The Facebook posts about Nicki Minaj, however, were enough to make me seek out the performance on YouTube.

I understand that people were offended by the presentation and by the mocking of religion.  I'd like to point out, however, that this is nothing new.  Songs about exorcism have been around for a very long time and are well-known in the literature of classically trained musicians.  They're called Tarantellas.

Musicians and artists have been satirizing the Church and giving it a hard time since at least the 11th century when the Carmina Burana hit the shelves, so to speak.

Here's the difference: in the 11th Century, and for a long time after that, people had a better reason to satirize organized religion.  For a long time, the Church was the only major ruling power in the world.  If you were rich, you could buy forgiveness, but if you were poor you weren't being helped at all.  For the most part, things have changed since the middle ages.  Churches of all kinds have set up outreach to help people.  Since the separation of Church and state, no organized religion has any power in government.  Religious persecution continues, yes, but it's kept better in check in 2012 than it was in 1180.

I don't have too much of a problem with what Nicki Minaj might refer to as "performance art."  I'm all for free speech (well...except for this.)  The one instance in which Nicki Minaj crossed the line was her allusion to sex abuse in the Catholic Church.  If you're going to protest it, protest it.  Here's a good example.  When it's to enhance a performance of completely unrelated material and as background dancing, however, it's insensitive, pure and simple.

The biggest problem that I had with the performance was that the song truly stunk.  There was no real complexity or depth, the singing was average at best, and I finished watching with no idea what Nicki Minaj was trying to communicate.  People might praise the performance as avant grade or unique, but the bottom line is that you can't put makeup on a pig.

Recent Developments

I really stink at keeping things current, apparently.  If you're still following the epic saga of All My Kittens, here's a quick update.  We've gone from climbing the walls to this:

This is Wednesday in the picture.  Mac has made similar progress but overall Wednesday is more clingy and less camera shy.  Mac likes to chase things on the computer screen.  

In other news, after heading back into a flare my rheumatologist determined I needed to add methotrexate.  I was seriously hesitant about going back down this road.  I was up to 6 or 8 pills a week (can't remember which) when I was on it in high school and college, and it made me really sick. Methotrexate is a low-dose mild chemotherapy drug.  It is low-dose and mild but has the same side effects.  This time around, I'm on a very tiny dose of injectable methotrexate.  Injectable is better absorbed by the body than pills and since it bypasses the digestive tract the nausea isn't as bad.  Still, I'm taking mine on Fridays in case the day after is a bummer.  

These are way easier to do than Enbrel injections. They do require a little more preparation, but they don't burn and the needles are seriously tiny.  This is the first time I've ever felt comfortable injecting into my stomach.  Seriously, check out that tiny needle!

The vials are also tiny.  Two of them come in a pill bottle labeled with the prescription info.  

OK, it looks like radioactive Mountain Dew.  But it doesn't burn, and I have noticed an improvement so far.  The side effects aren't terrible....yet.

Feliz Navidad

Well, folks, it was an eventful trip to Kansas to spend Christmas with my Aunt Brenda and to visit old friends.  First of all, a rare winter storm in the Southwest made driving a rather messy hassle until I got out of New Mexico.

Unfortunately, driving through Roswell there was a nasty incident with slamming on breaks driving through town, and long story short, I need two new headlight assemblies.  I ended up using bungee cords and duct tape to get me the rest of the way to KS.

I spotted an awesome mullet somewhere in Oklahoma.

Finally, here is the end result of my Christmas crafting.  My great grandmother wrote a poem about Mrs. Claus, so I made an ornament for each verse to give to my aunt.  Since her tree is blue and silver, I kept the ornaments those colors.  I'd give instructions on how to make each of these things, or at least link to online tutorials, but it's less work for me if I just tell everyone to look on Pinterest.

Of all the busy people
this happy Christmas time,
none work like Mrs. Claus
for days and nights besides.

The good old Saint her husband
has so much to do
if Mrs. Claus did not take hold
they never would get through.




Their home is bright and cheery
they call it Reindeer Hall.
Icicles stick fast to the roof
and icebergs form the walls.

The Northern star, bright and shining,

gives all the light they need, 

for How to Climb the Chimney 

is the only book they read.

There's dolls in all the corners,
there's dolls in all the chairs,
piled high in every cupboard shelf
and way up the front stairs.

But not a stitch of clothing

on any can be seen.

Old Santa Claus is nice, 

but he can't sew on a machine.

So Mrs. Claus is busy

making petticoats and sacks.

And there are all the shirts to make 

for all the jumping jacks.

And long clothes for the babies, 

and hats and caps and capes.

All the dresses must be cut 

in the very latest shapes.

Bright on the fire a kettle boils

making such a noise.

The lid pops up, 

how good they smell

those lemon candy toys!

Such lots of candy cooking, 

such stacks of chocolate nice.

The kitchen is a sticky place, 

so sticky but so nice.

The reindeer must be harnessed, 

the toys packed in the sleigh

and old Santa Claus wrapped up in furs

to ride so far away.

Then Mrs. Claus he kisses and says, 

"My dear, I don't believe I'll be back home

'till nearly New Year's Eve."

And then away he dashes, 

as Mrs. Claus does call

"Be careful how you climb, 

I'll worry lest you fall."

And old Santa Claus is smiling, 

"I never in my life

could do so much for boys and girls

without so good a wife."

I'd like to apologize for the weird formatting in this post.  Between the Yorkshire pudding and the homemade toffee, my stomach is full and my brain is fuzzy.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

Propaganda v. Real Life

I am knee deep in Christmas crafting.  Actually, over my head would be more accurate.

I know it's been nearly two months since I last posted.  Life has been crazy, between rescheduling a concert that got snowed out (it was a big one, too...and since when does stuff get snowed out in the desert? Ick!) and everything else, it's a miracle the military hasn't annexed my apartment and office for hazardous terrain training.

Meanwhile....I got my fourth infusion of Actemra yesterday, and it couldn't have come sooner.  It's been a rough few weeks as I am in what my doctor calls the "peaks and valleys" stage of treatment.  This is a valley.  This last infusion marks the first time that my nurses missed my IV on the first stick and had to stick me not two but three times...and then I didn't bleed enough from the IV stick for labs, so a guy from the lab had to come up and stick me a fourth time.  The first IV attempt hit a valve and left me with an awesome bruise.  The ones on my hand are cool too, but not nearly as impressive as this one, which is becoming more colorful by the hour.  I still love my nurses, though.  They do a great job.

Anyway, I'm almost over my infusion hangover (which feels exactly like a real hangover, by the way) and recalled some mail I got about a week ago from the drug company.

By "mail" I mean this stuff was delivered to my doorstep via UPS.  This is a miracle considering that when I was taking Enbrel it took an act of Congress to get the actual drugs delivered to my doorstep....but drug company propaganda is no problem!  When I first saw the huge package I thought, "Wow, that safety brochure they mail out has gotten huge.  Should I be worried?"

It turns out the drug company was being helpful and sent this lovely journal:

As you can see, this is supposed to help me chart progress on this new drug.  I can't decide yet whether I'll actually use it.  I hate paperwork, and I'm pretty aware of how my body is doing, so I probably won't.  I think this is probably more helpful for people who were more recently diagnosed.  It does, however, include neat little appointment stickers.  Those are kind of cool.  Everyone likes stickers.  

Yet another reflection of what I believe to be targeting of the newly diagnosed was the second item in the package, a brochure:

While I certainly can appreciate this attitude, it really isn't mine.  After 22 years with RA pain I'm not on a "journey", and I'm not so much determined as I am resigned to the fact that I must have something that works in order to function and live my life.  I have things to do.

Bottom line, my real life perspective on my RA is this: