Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Do's and Don'ts of Hiring a String Quartet

It's the month of weddings, which means I'll be busy playing a lot of Pachelbel's Canon, which really means I'll be busy people watching and silently critiquing the wedding in my head while the violinists and the violist do all the work.


I've been playing in quartets for various events since high school, and I have a ton of great stories.  There was the one where the Christmas party attendees became inebriated about half an hour in and started reading poetry, at which point we plucked Christmas carols for the next hour and a half.   We were uncomfortably shoved into a corner by the buffet line, anyway, so we didn't feel terribly obligated to give it 110%. There was the one that was outside in a dust storm, and the groom's own mother was at least an hour late.  We got paid overtime, but were also treated to the bride's advice for life.  And a coating of dust.  There was the one in which the entire wedding ceremony was alternately in Hebrew and Vietnamese. Spanish, we could handle just fine, but this one had us worried.  It's lucky our violist spoke Hebrew and was able to tell us where we were as she counted the blessings.  More mature colleagues of mine have even better stories, including one about a homeless man and a guiro.

I've discovered that the easiest gigs to play aren't necessarily the ones with the most competent colleagues (although I'm blessed with very good people to play with), or the ones in the most convenient locations, or the ones with the easiest to play music.  They're the ones in which the people who hired us actually know what they're doing.  Here are a few do's and don'ts when hiring a string quartet.

DO give us clear instructions.  What you want us to play and when.  Are we starting the processional when the congregation stands?  When we can see the bride?  When the groom gives us the secret signal?
DON'T look at us accusingly or turn and ask someone why we aren't playing if you haven't given us any instructions for the bride's uncle's cousin as he walks down the aisle.

DO make sure that at least one member of the quartet can see what's going on, especially if it's a wedding.  We can repeat Canon ad nauseum, and if we can't see that the mother of the bride is already seated, we will.  It's also important that we can all see each other.  There's a certain amount of non-verbal communication that occurs between quartet members.  It's also nice to have room to move our bows.
DON'T tell us to prelude before the ceremony, and then wait until 15 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start to tell us to stop, then look at us like it's our fault.  OR get mad when we stop one minute before hand to prevent the aforementioned occurrence.

DO pay us in cash, preferably with bills that are easily divided four ways.  We're musicians (and probably teachers).  We don't always carry around change for hundreds.
DON'T pay with a check unless we know you personally.  Odds are at least one of us has been burned before.  Plus, it likely means one of us has to go to the bank and then split up the cash.  And that might be the money we needed to buy toilet paper on the way home.

DO give us plenty of notice if there's a special piece of music you want.  We either have to order or arrange it, and that takes time and sometimes, extra money.  If it's something really out there that's not in our normal repertoire, we might even have to get together to rehearse it first.
DON'T look offended if you ask for your favorite Beatles tune right before the gig starts and we either don't have it or don't know it.  Most string quartets are pretty progressive and have a lot of pops tunes under our belts, but we don't have everything.  Standard wedding fare is probably fair game, though.  Usually we can even figure it out if you just hum it for us....you don't even need to know the title or composer.

DO feel free to book us in an outdoor venue within reason.
DON'T get upset if it is unreasonably hot or cold and we end two minutes early or have to keep re-tuning.  We play expensive instruments that are sensitive to temperature and humidity, and they go out of tune and can even sustain damage if they're left in those conditions for too long.  Even Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman didn't play live at Obama's inauguration due to weather.

DO ask questions and encourage your kids to ask questions about our instruments or what we do.  A lot of us are teachers and are happy to talk to them when we're finished or in between tunes.  We love to recruit new orch dorks, and with really little kids who are attentive and whose hands are clean, I'll even let them touch my instrument or pluck the strings with some instructions on how to do it properly.
DON'T allow your kids to run right up and grab our instruments.  (Yes, this has happened more than once).  It's not a good idea for you to do it, either.  My cello is worth more than my car, and believe me, you don't want to pay for repairs if it breaks.  My bow isn't cheap, either.  I'll be considerably more understanding if the child who has briefly escaped your watchful eye has an obvious intellectual or social impairment and they really don't know that they can't do that.  I get that.  But the moral of the story is, watch your kids.  

DO tell us how long you expect us to play, and compensate us accordingly.
DON'T leave it up to us to guess when the gig is over and give us uncomfortable signals to try to tell us that it is.  We've got music for hours and unless the gig is outside in ridiculous weather, we'll just keep going unless there's a very clear sign or you tell us we're done.  This video is filed under "Top Ten Signs That the Gig is Over."



DO hire us again and follow these tips.
DON'T get the idea from this post that I resent every gig I've gotten.  Quite the contrary!  I love to play, and getting paid for it is a bonus.  I've also seen some really neat weddings and events, and gotten some great stories out of even the worst gigs.  But these guidelines make it a lot easier for us to do the best job we can for you!

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